CRICKET
Saturday 1st XI won by 113 runs against Hillingdon
Saturday 2nd XI won by 7 wickets against Farnham Common II
Sunday 1st XI won by 46 runs against Bledlow
Sunday 2nd XI, lost by 5 wickets against Duke Of Hamilton

SOFTBALL
Phoenix, won 22-15 against Ascot Blue Sox

CRICKET
Saturday 1st XI, Home against Reading II, 1.30pm
Saturday 2nd XI, Away against Hampton Hill II, 1.30pm
Sunday 1st XI, Away against Burnham
Sunday 2nd XI, Home against Gerrards Cross, 2.00pm

SOFTBALL
Thu 9th May, Flames, Home against Waifs and Strays, 7pm
Wed 15th June, Phoenix, Away against FBI, 7pm

UMPIRING COURSE

We are holding a course for anyone wanting to become an umpire, or for anyone just wanting to gain a better understanding of the rules. The course will be held at the clubhouse on Tuesday 21st June and Tuesday 28th June, between 7.15pm (for a 7.30pm start) and 9.30pm with an assessment/exam on Tuesday 5th July. To get your name down or for any queries please contact Jo Peters on jo.peters99@tiscali.co.uk or Ph: 01753 890497.

FLAMES HOST LEAGUE LEADERS
Tonight (Thursday) the Flames host the league leaders Waifs and Strays. The game starts at 7pm and everyone is welcome to come down, enjoy the sunshine and cheer on the team.

PHOENIX TOPPLE ASCOT
The big match. Two teams, both unbeaten, first plays third in the league. There could only be one winner... it was us! Woo!

Phoenix took a full strength squad, plus assorted supporters to Locks Ride, however, it very nearly wasn't a full side as our esteemed captain exclaimed en route "bo**ocks, we forgot Cash!". Luckily Mr. Blamey didn't take it personally and duly found his own way there.

I suppose I should include a brief summary of the game, although we didn't even have our traditional "one big inning" we had a biggish one and two medium sized ones, with a couple of well dodgy ones thrown in. Ascot did however, have their big inning, scoring 10 in their second at bat to make the game a bit more interesting. Luckily, that was pretty much it, they only scored another 5 in the remaining 5 innings including going three up, three down three times, thanks to some great play from the infield.

Other moments of note were a great take from Carol Dapogny stepping off first base to remove their opening batter in the first inning. Dan panicking where to stand as the dog poo that was acting as his marker had mysteriously disappeared. Clare Winter's first ever slide, and into home at that. A tag from Chris Yoxall at second to seal the game.

Phoenix probably batted as well as they have done to date and it was that, combined with good tight fielding that won them the game by 22 runs to 15. Well done to everyone on a great performance played in an excellent spirit.

MVP was Annie for some great play on second base including a tag at two. throw to Carol at one to get the double play. She tried it again in the next innings, unfortunately we only actually needed the one out this time, but nice try!

Next week Phoenix have another big game, away at second in the table FBI.

Thanks again to Liz Warner for great base coaching and scoring for us again and to Carol's husband and brother and Lucy from Windsor for supporting.

SUNDAY 1ST XI

Last weekend the Sunday 1st XI played its last friendly of the season before the league and cup matches start. We travelled over to Chesham to play Ley Hill and rather generously allowed them to make 160, with a fielding performance poor even by Chalfont standards! We also made slightly hard work of our reply, but a stylish 66 not out from Justin Weller saw us home to a fairly comfortable 4 wicket victory.

This week the Chalfont Geriatrics began their MASL campaign with a 46 run triumph over Bledlow Under 18s, experience just about triumphing over youth. On a beautiful sunny day, with the Chalfont Park ground looking a picture, we batted first and made 194-7 from our 40 overs, with the main contributions coming from Zamir Khan (50), Matthew Stevenson (26) and Rahul Punj, who hit two glorious straight sixes in a rapid-fire 48 not out. Bledlow started well in reply and reached 50-0 in 8 overs. With only three regular bowlers, the other 16 overs were looking problematic, but fortunately Bledlow lost wickets and momentum, and were finally bowled out for 148 in 35 overs. Rahul Punj broke the habit of a lifetime and pitched his leg breaks in the right place (3-26) and we were also treated to Satish Sharma's wily flight and guile (3-34) at the end. So, victory for the old codgers by 46 runs.

INDIAN BBQ AND CASINO NIGHT

Saturday 16th July. Tickets £10 including all food and gambling chips. Try your hand at Blackjack, Roulette and Texas Hold 'em Poker. Prizes for the luckiest gamblers on the night.

For more information and to buy tickets please contact either Andy Parsons, Saqib Ahmed, Rahul Punj or Dan Webb.

BOYS UNDER 13'S
The U13's lost their first game of the season this week. Due to holidays and a couple of players getting their days mixed up we only had 8 players.

The boys had a good go though, and with an obviously under strength attack and the fact that they lost the toss on a murky night the lads had to bowl first. Paul Neave was the pick of the bowlers picking up 3 wickets for 12 runs and as hard as the team tried Farnham Common posted 142 due largely to the gaps in the field and some indifferent bowling during the first 8 overs.

Batting almost in the dark, the boys put on 101, the third time this season they have scored 100 plus which was a great effort. Elliot Winter, Dan Gifford, Matt Mcgrory and Paul Neave all got into double figures but could not reach the large total. It has to be said that this was largely due to the failing light.

The boys did really well in the circumstances though.

Our cup game against Chesham fell victim to the weather and looks likely to be played this Friday.

Next week we will let you know the U13 Batting & Bowling averages for this season so far.

The boys would also like to pass their thanks to Shabs & Dave Banner for their efforts so far this season. It is great for them to play on the main square and our track is always immaculately presented along with the rest of the ground, they do appreciate the guys efforts.

As you may or may not be aware I also run CSP U13 football side. The club are holding a sportsman's dinner 17th June, at the football club with Dennis Wise as guest speaker. The money raised is going to the club and a charity called The Wooden Spoon Society, a charity for disadvantaged children. Tickets are £60 including a four course meal. If you are interested, please drop me an email, Keith.Neave@xerox.com.

Hamilton, have only got one ball,
Their pitch, is very small,
The toss, it was our loss,
With eight players we had no chance at all.

To bat, it was our demise,
Batting, we were like Ernie Wise,
Gobby, a little lobby,
one-oh-two a bloody suprise.

Tea, cost us forty notes,
For sarnies, that were bloody jokes,
Brown bread, we wished they were dead,
Like a bad dream we wished from awoke.

Bowling, Webb was throwing pies,
Boundaries, were their replies,
Lindsay, his bowling flimsy,
Bowled a full ball, took all by surprise.

We lost, but we've got the last laugh,
In August, back at Chalfont Park,
Hales, will remove bails,
Whilst we sit back and enjoy the lark.

Twas a wet and cold morning and all about the village the players were hoping the game against local rivals Farnham would be called off. Sure enough, there was no phone call and as if by divine intervention just as we were about to start the sun came out and we were off.

Captain Potts has returned from his jaunt away, won the toss and elected to bowl on what looked a green and wet Chalfont track.

After last weeks Trojan effort from Cartledge his fitness had obviously improved and it was at least half way through his first over that he turned into Beetroot Man. At the other end we welcomed back Lewis "It's a long long way to my mark" Payne, who this week was sporting a rather daft hair do that had to be part of a bet or revenge by his now ex-girlfreind.

Sure enough it was enough to put the batsmen off and in his second over Lewis got one of the openers to edge behind which was well taken by Laubser and given by Umpire Professor El President Machin.

Not wanting to be upstaged, Cartledge continued to bowl well and in his next over had an excellent catch taken by Grubber who was rewarded with a gob full of dirt, which compared to his normal broken fingers and cracked sternum was an absolute delight.

Farnham then plodded along until a change in bowling saw Hewston brought in to the attack and a run out engineered between himself and Gobby in his first over removing the dangerous 1st teamer that they had brought in. Tony continued to bowl some great stuff (as well as some dodgy) and ripped through the heart of the middle order, removing 1 caught & bowled, 1 LBW, and one bowled to finish with figures of 3 for 34 off 16, thanks mainly to some top fielding, namely Neil Turner despite Warren trying his best to put him off at every opportunity.

Martin was still slaving away like a good 'un, and was rewarded by bowling two of the tail enders.

Chalfont were well on top at this point and after 39 overs Farnham were on 81 and 8 wickets down. Could we stop them getting any points. No, of course we were much too nice for that and promptly gave them another 50 runs just to be friendly.

The tea was nice apparently, but I wouldn't know as some ***** ****** ****** ate it all before I got a look in, fat t*ats!

Potty had a serious look in his eye as he strolled out to bat, or was it fear of a lynching by the rest of the team, but it was the usually cautious Warren who had the fuel in his belly (maybe it was my sandwiches) and he spanked the opener for a very quick 14 before hauling out at backward point going for another boundary.

As the team watched on Lewis was busied himself checking out the hotties who were part of the wedding party. Realising there were none, he settled on perving at a rather orange 65 year old.

Asim and Potts were building the foundations of the innings before Potts was bowled on 48. Soon afterwards Asim was out for 14.

Martin then joined Tony at the crease and a solid partnership was enjoyed. Neither of these two are batsmen to be contained and the ball was soon flying around the ground including a 6 from Cartledge. Hewston wrapped the game up in the 29th over finishing on 21 not out and Martin on 23 not out. 20 points in the bag, and a good performance from the boys. Only things to work on was a little bit of catching practice and maybe becoming a little more ruthless finishing off the wounded prey!

An away fixture at recently promoted Hillingdon awaited the boys this weekend. The ground held fond memories for the more senior members of the team and supporters. Stories of great cup wins and batting feats on a table top wicket regaled before the match and during the tea interval, but more of that later.

Unfortunately, it appears Old Father Time has not been kind to the Hillingdon square. On inspecting the wicket, yes we found it, it was clear that this was not going to be easy afternoon for either batting side. Skipper Zed Khan won the toss and, faced with a difficult choice of either batting or planting a few more cabbages, decided to have first use of the track.

Openers Tahir Rashid (51) and Andy Parsons (50) got the innings off to a good start, the tactic of blocking anything straight, riding your luck, and having an almighty swipe at anything too full or short seemed to pay dividends (95 for 0 from 18 overs). To their credit the Hillingdon bowlers fought back into the game creating a mini collapse (120 for 3) before Shahid Din (21) steadied the ship. Another mini collapse saw Chalfont reach 165 for 8 with 12 overs of the innings still remaining. This was a still a pretty healthy score given the state of the wicket and an excellent ninth wicket partnership between Saqib Ahmed (39 not out) and Rhys Mander (9 not out) really knocked the stuffing out of the opposition and remarkably led to a declaration (208 for 8 from 52 overs). An unbelievable show of sensible batting from Chalfont.

The tea was better than the wicket, which was a relief. I thought it was great but some of the dissenters in the team (Rhys) weren't happy with the cake situation and marked the tea down. Bit harsh if you ask me. Before going to out to field there was more regaling of massive six hitting feats from Shabs and Bash from bygone days. Now don't get me wrong here, I have absolutely no doubt that these guys could tonk a cricket ball a serious distance. However, Shabs' claim that he smoted the ball out the ground, over the church yard, and rang the church bell .mmm. he was obviously batting that day with a long range bazooka, fitted with a brass seeking node and a special "church bell" setting. I must get one of those, do they sell them in St Peter ?

Into the field with the old ball, and two spinners. Shahid (3 for 20 from 9 overs) and Rhys (2 for 22 from 8 overs) got us off to a flying start, their top order struggling to get a bat on Rhys in his first few overs. Excellent support from Saqib (2 for 24 from 8 overs) and Fariq Ahmed (3 for 18 from from 8 overs ) kept the wickets tumbling as they got stuck into the lower middle order. Hillingdon all out for 95 from 33 overs. A great all round performance on a difficult pitch.

Chalfont 25 points. Hillingdon 4 points.